Out of My Hands – A Poem by Ian Lepkowsky

Out of My Hands

Here I stand above your grave. On this day. I’m looking down on you.

But you are safe. You got away. From all the Hate I feel.

My clothes are gray. The sky is gray. On this day out here.

Nothing left to say. You got away. And still my Anger’s here.

You got away. You got away. So why am I left here?

You got away. You got away. And still your body’s here.

But you’re not there. You’re not in there. You’re in a different place.

You’re different now. So different now. Deep in your shallow grave.

You’ve not escaped. You’ll one day pay. Just not at my hands.

It doesn’t end at Death. There is more left. You need to feel this pain.

It starts to rain. The ground is wet. And I stop cursing death.

You cannot get away. You’ll one day pay. There’s no escaping debt.

Your death is no escape. You’ll one day pay. It does not end at Death.

So I accept. Your painless death. You’ll one day feel my pain.

With no regrets. I must accept. I too must feel some pain.

Though I am left. I do accept. There is no other way.

I too will pay. What I must pay. Though you have chosen Death.

T’was no escape. Yes, you shall pay. It will be harder now.

You haven’t won. Not all is done. I am still standing here.

You had your fun. You thought I’d run. I am still standing here.

I’ll face my pain. It sounds insane. There is no other way.

I don’t know how. I don’t know how. But I will figure out.

I don’t know how. I’ll figure out. But I am trying now.

I don’t know how. It doesn’t matter how. I am trying now.

So I journey on. Becoming strong. I learn from my mistakes.

Accepting fate. Accepting change. Accepting my own free will.

I made mistakes. I make mistakes. I know I make them still.

But it’s okay. To make mistakes. You’re meant to learn from them.

And so my friend. You’ve met your end. You are not learning now.

Thought you’d escape. Next life you’ll pay. And I am learning now.

There’s no escape. There’s no escape. Yes I am learning now.

There’s no escape. There’s no escape. I am accepting now.

There’s no escape. There’s no escape. And so I face my Fear.

You walked away. There’s no escape. You’ll one day face your Fear.

I understand. I comprehend. This is out of my hands.

I understand. Nothing to do. I have Forgiven you.

 

Ian Lepkowsky

Ian is a passionate writer searching for personal transformation through unconditional self expression. He's also a philosopher, artist, and creator that's interested in video games and food and stuff.

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