Reluctant – A Poem by Ian Lepkowsky

Reluctant

I can hear the whispers of a past that never existed

I can feel the sand

I know not what I am seeking

The air is crisp and cold

I can barely remember a time before I felt so numb

The wind is making me feel uncomfortable

The scent of death lingers in my nostrils

I can’t always see the Darkness within myself

The water is freezing my blood

There is a fog before my eyes

I have no idea where I am

This isn’t the type of pain that feels good

With their tools they make me hollow

I am a ghost

I can only watch as it happens

This is my fault somehow

I don’t understand entirely

I wish these tethers weren’t tied so tightly

I am suffocating as usual

The air is too thick or too thin for me to breath comfortably

I didn’t think I was so delicate

I don’t understand what’s happening

I am always in control

My back is scraping against the ground

This is unusual

I’m more important than this

I am the lowest form of life

Everything must come to an end

Of course I knew it would end this way

Come on now, who did I think I was kidding?

Ian Lepkowsky

Ian is a passionate writer searching for personal transformation through unconditional self expression. He's also a philosopher, artist, and creator that's interested in video games and food and stuff.

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